Since I finally admitted that I did want him, it's actually calmed me down, there were some thoughts the day after, but since then it's been . . . calm. I doubt we will ever be a couple again, but just admitting it to myself, and to him, it's somehow made everything okay in my mind. It's helped me realize what it is that I do want in a significant other. Someone much more like him than the other person I dated. And I am good with however it goes. What we have now is a good friendship, where we can have fun, we've gotten mad at each other but still found our way back to each other, we can rely on each other that we'll be there for each other. And if someday, we are in the same place at the same time, then I'll appreciate it as it is, not for what I "want it to be" because I have no expectations of it. I know we can have fun together and I don't mean sexually. 

In all honesty, if I could keep him as a friend, and somehow keep those I am friends with now as friends . . . I don't need a significant other. Speaking of, I should log off and try to mend a rift between me and another friend . . . 

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